Again! I don't know what to do when I don't really need help, but people want to help! I have tried not to refuse, or some people might get upset. But it is difficult, if someone asks and I don't need help, I would say it!
Today I was doing some work and my colleague (a man) asked if I need help carrying a 20 litre water container (so, 20kg, normal luggage weight). I said "No, thank you, I carry it 3 times a week". Later, when lifting it to a table, he tried to help again. Unfortunately, I thought it is easier for me to carry on than to put the container back to where it was. Very often I do this work with another colleague who normally lifts it and hopefully not because he think I cannot!
Last week, I was taking the mess after my experiment (a trolley full of baskets of flasks and other things) to the autoclave room when someone asked whether I need help. Automatically I said "no", afterall, it was all on a trolley! Yes, I had to open doors, but i normally manage on my own. I realised and let him open the doors for a while (until the room where he had to go).
Why am I writing this? because a few years ago, we came from camping and I had lent a sleeping bag to a friend. So coming back, I had to carry 2 (mine fit into the bag, another, I just had in hand). Coming down some stairs in town (not a difficult terrain!), another friend offered to carry the sleeping bag. I said "no". He got upset and started behaving strange. We had a chat a few weeks later and he said he did not think that he think I cannot carry it, just that he wanted to help.
Sometimes when I walk with the camera, people offer to carry it. Why would I want to give my camera to somebody? OK, even if I am not taking pictures....if I took it with me, I guess I knew that I can carry it! It is not about trust, J has borrowed it during some walks and taken pictures.
I think I will let people help me if they want, just because they want to help, but when they start suggesting I cannot carry a 20kg container, meaning that I cannot do my job.... I will go back to my Nordic independence.
By the way, thanks for the person who helped transfer my little daphnids today and tried to help with water tank. Thanks for the person who I normally work with for treating me as equal. Thanks for the person who opened doors for me last week!
Sorry to anybody who wanted to help but i said I don't need help!
