february

It's about 0 degrees.

Why is it that when I tell someone "you can send me email and I will help you with the code, I will be up until midnight", I get home, eat and want to go to sleep immediately?

I don't know what I am doing. Too big worries in my head, about everything. I want to get things done!

I think it is time to go to bed, read a book and check the emails later.

Good night!

my day

Read, read...... until I understand they are walking somewhere and did not really enjoy it nor understand what was happening. Sleep time, even if it is 8.30pm on a Wednesday. Until 9.45 when my housemates start discussing something on the stairs. I had felt bad before and now it was impossible to go back to sleep. My right arm, shoulder, all the right sde was in pain. I hope I am imagining it or it is just a muscle pain from some virus (I think I already had the flu). Fever feeling. At 1am I still hear other people. 3am. Should I just get up and go to uni. Bioscience corridors are scary when nobody is there. I could program at home. No, lets try to sleep. "Jaanika......" shouts E. "Yes, I am awake".

At uni, 9am empty corridors, I bring my media from the autoclave room. Start. The bacteria grow, grow. Quick cup-a-soup (from my camping food drawer) before it gets busy. Training to use a machine (and I am unable to stand up....felt it would not be polite to leave, but I think many people saw I was not OK. Busy time, until 5. People went to have coffee for M's leaving at lunch, but I was busy every 15 minutes, or rather when one business ended, the next started. I was doing same experiment with J, I was supposed to help him. I should have just helped him or got him to help me.

Lunch at 5.15pm, when my supervisor tried to ask something and I could not answer because I am eating! It was not dinner, it was lunch! And he told me when he was doing experiments, he wanted to drink the media with bacteria in! I did not, I had cravings for salad. Yes, not chocolate or something. I would have eaten more fruit, but  knew in the office, if I asked if somebody had any food, they would have chocolate or crisps. Maybe H would have fruit, but she has already given me lots of apples. Some more runs to the lab, then home. Food shopping (lettuce and other salad ingrediants) and then to S's flat. She had promised some furniture for my sister (who is at work today). I also got a digging blade! and another reading light (so I don't have to move it from desk to bedside all the time!)

Home, salad, chat with C and E. Some washing to the machine, bedtime!

Salad is good!

A friend could not believe me. "Do you work with LIVE bacteria?"

A moment later, a few of us tried to convince that she had many bacteria everywhere, including skin, but I think she is still convinced that she only has (good) bacteria in the gut.

I did lots of preparations for tomorrow's experiment, cleaned the prep room. Lunch alone because R's bacteria did not grow fast enough.

Home, I am so boring, had dinner and now thinking which of the 2 books to read. I feel weak, so no salsa.....what is wrong with me?

"Promise not to read any books in the evenings"

This was advice by a person who is a bit too worried about me. She also warned me not to become a biologist: "you will wear an old jumper and muddy boots, going to somewhere in sunrise every morning". Or to study physics "It is not very feminine". I did not take the advice. But the reading avoidance, I was new in a town, living in a house with strangers and it was actually useful, trying to socialise in the evenings, until one discovered that I am very happy installing Linux on a laptop, arguing about important things (otherwise there is not point to argue). moreover, a year later I gave a promise to myself not to argue so much. I really enjoyed it, the arguing part!

So, I did not read much.

No, I feel more and  more addicted to a book, to listen to good music and just read. Descriptive books, about someone's journey. And generally, I feel strange. I have missed salsa twice now, not sure why. OK, last Wednesday during work I felt so glued to the chair that really needed a run or any kind of exercise and because the ice rink is far and quite expensive, there were no good classes in sports centre and the new gym has so long queue in reception that it is impossible to enter. So, run on dark streets.

Yesterday at church, playing, I enjoyed. One song in particular, because we changed the timing from 3 to 4 in last verses (or rather, to 3 in the first).

I enjoy lab....mostly because it is more sociable.....you can talk while doing many things. But to spend time with my terminal is also good. Strangely, I feel I have too many computery things to do that require a long quiet night of coffee. Why, everything flows better.

It is cold, -7 in the morning. I want snow! Please, please clouds with H2O, where are you?

hello, summer!

This morning is was so warm and sunny that I was very happy when R closed the blinds in the lab. Day itself was not so good, a small device did not work despite new batteries and when I realised I have 15min to do many calculations and measurements, it was not enough....so better do these in afternoon and start again tomorrow. Lunch with S, R and F was nice. I have also managed to stick to my new year's resolution of eating more. Yesterday I cooked so much, 7 standard take-away boxes of rice and chilli (the extra to the freezer for days when I have no time to cook, i.e salsa days.) it is very convenient to choose from the freezer what to have for lunch next day if there is a pile of boxes. Saves time, money and also avoids the uni food (which is not good, except jacket potato and salad in the salad season, not now) and associated queing (as it's term time)

Also, I really enjoyed yesterday's run, the weather has been good.

Tomorrow is THE office race, with all 8 of us taking part!

How happy can looking at a picture of a distant location make me! Or a smile of somebody.

New year resolutions

I don't have one! Or, if I think, I should come up with some. 

1)As normal, many people want to lose weight. So, if you are not going to eat that cake, give it to me! I want to gain some weight. Not by eating chips and bacon and watching TV at weekends. I want to be a healthy strong Estonian woman. (because what is the percentage of bodyweight your rucksack is supposed to be:))

2)to be good? No to the extremes, not that new year is better for that!

3)Don't (over)worry!

4)go to beautiful places with a tent

any more?